No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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