Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
