okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
