so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
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What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
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I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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