you have to choose: penises or morals?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
