omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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