you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize