I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize