That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
