I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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