using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
