I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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