Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
