I wish I could punch you in the face.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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