I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
