i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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