I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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