I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
