i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
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After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?