I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional