is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.