How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
