escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.