So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Randomize
