Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize