i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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