I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
