Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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