I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
