and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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