Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
