You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I forget how to act sober
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
