there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just pee around me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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