We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
