You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just had sex on a roof
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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