sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize