If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
