Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
