Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize