WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
