you guys were way drunker than both of me
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
