I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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