I want to have your abortion
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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