i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
