I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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