Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
