why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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