i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
