the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
