I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
