dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
