sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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