I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
