bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
