The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize