He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
