Duck Duck Cougar?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
