if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
