Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
