i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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