: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
