whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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