he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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