so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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