My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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