grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
