just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
