so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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