He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
